sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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