I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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