My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
