It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
