So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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