we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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