dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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