I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
