If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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