I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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