i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
