I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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