is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Randomize
