i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
