What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
