i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize