i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
