yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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