Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
