Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
