Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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