I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
