happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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