At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
