Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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