I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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