It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
