i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
