thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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