so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
