I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
