You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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