my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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