is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize