Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize