whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
