i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
