I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
