Say something about gay babies.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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