I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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