I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
whose parrot is this?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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