i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
you had me at cake vodka
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
