I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
