We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
