Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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