I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Randomize
