I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
