I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
