I just made out with a guy for $7.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
