I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
