Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
