Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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