youre lurking in front of me
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize