I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
