did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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