You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
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