Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
