Christians are straight up FREAKS
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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