He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
