its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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