I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
