Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
