He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I lost the right to judge tonight
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
