My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
