You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
